( thoughts )

( A look into my life behind the cut )

I think I may have some sort of condition that renders me incapable of any productive activity during the "Godly" hours of the day, which leaves me to spend a great deal more time than I'd like perusing my academic endeavors in theses so called "ungodly" hours of the night.

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Dude, I am seriously flat broke. I have no money, ok well I have $18 and a few hundred in the bank that I get to give to Chuck as soon as I get around to writing a check. I get paid on Friday, but its gonna be next to nothing b/c I only worked three shifts on that pay period. Bah, I hate being poor.

so prom is in a month and a half, and i still don't have a date. how joyous. i really don't want to miss my senior prom, but it'd be kind of hard to go w/ out a date. but if i don't get asked in the next couple of weeks i can't go b/c i won't have time to find a dress and such. so if theres some guy out there who wants to ask me, he'd better grow some balls quick and ask me.

ARRRGRH!!!! i was in a FANTASTIC mood then my stupid ass siblings had to go and be stupid. I HATE THEM AND I HOPE THEY ALL GET SICK AND MISERABLE FOR A WEEK. i hardly ever get to be in a great mood now adays, and then when i finally get in a REALLY good mood they go and blow it. thanks guys, thanks a lot.

yesterday i was being a dumbass (nothing new) and jake challenged me to a spinning contest, to see who could spin around for the longest. naturally, being bored, and stupid, i accepted. i was spinning around for a bit, then i got bored of it and stopped and pushed jake, and watched him curese and spin away. well as i was standing there laughing at him i hear this crack and i fall. i try to get up but then i realized that my knee didn't work anymore, and then the pain hit me. omfg did it hurt. so i was just lying there on the kitchen floor in pain and i said "omg i think i just broke my knee" and jake just looks at me like i'm joking. see we do that a lot, mess around and then pretend to be hurt. i knew one day one of us was really gonna get hurt, and lo and behold it was me. he goes "do u want me to call mom?" and i tell him yes, he dials the number and before he hit the send button he asks me again if i'm serious. i think the fact that i was crying proved it to him. so my mommy came home, and then i had to go to the emergency room on base. i hate the base. i was waiting in the stupid waiting room w/ screaming children forever (or at least it seemed like it) but then there was a shift change and then everything was all boom booom boom fast. they took x-rays and the doc said it looked like i tore a tendon, but it looked old and chronic. hmm possibly its what i did to my knee 6 yrs ago when it started hurting and the stupid doctors just told me that there was nothing wrong, and i would out grow it. right. well, i don't think thats whats wrong now, b/c it doesn't hurt in the same spot it usually does, but w/e. the doctor gave me some super strength motrin and some vicodin. everyone says vicodin is rally good, but really, it didn't feel any differnent than the motrin, didn't even make me sleepy and such. the doc said i have to go to an orthopedic doctor sometime later this week, and they'll look at it closer and tell me what the fuck happened. my mom said that theres a good chance that they'll do a scope (thats where they stick a teeny camera in my knee and have a look around - does not sound plesent) and that they might even have to do surgery. gah, i hate surgery. now i'm hobbling around on krutches and they're hurting my artpits and my wrists, so i just havn't moved very much today. i don't want to be on krutches tomorrow at school, so i think i'll just brave it w/ out them dammit i still have hw to do.

oh and on a happier note - i got my belly button pierced yesterday. that hurt too, but not as much as my knee. but it sucked b/c i've had to be all hunched over a lot sitting in waiting rooms and such, and that was hell on my belly button.

so i havn't posted in a while, so ta-da. not much has been going on in my life, okay well thats a lie, but w/e. well, i'm finally 18, a real adult, i can vote, join the military, whatch dirty movies.... but really 18 isn't really that exciting. everyone kept asking if i felt older, which i think is a pretty dumb question. i mean, there was only one day different, and actually everyone else was just as much older as i was (one day older that is), i just happened to get a new number. my b-day wasn't all too exciting. my friends came over, and we hung out and watched a movie, then i went to bed at- get this- 11:30. i went to bed before midnight on my eighteenth b-day. how pathetic is that. i dont think i've even stayed up past midnight this whole month, and i know for a fact that i havn't slept in past 11 am. what the crap, even on the days that i was sick. what the crap, as soon as i'm an adult i have responsibility and don't sleep in anymore? i even went to night school on my b-day instead of ditching like i really wanted to. and about night school OMFG its ridiculous. its supposedly PE, but the most physical activity i've done in the last three weeks in that class is walk across the room to the trash can. its effing study hall and i hate it. i'm in a room filled w/ people who failed PE, how the hell do you fail PE??? i of course didn't fail it, i just never took it. but these ppl are seriously all druggies or something. i have heard more about drugs in that class than i ever felt the need to know, i just don't get ppl. and then i've got all my day school shenanigans. Mrs. Litt got promoted to dean, so we had no english teacher for like 2 weeks, then we finally get one - a spanich teacher "Master Mixwell". what the duck (and no that isn't a typo), i hate him. monday i was rally super sick and all i wanted to do was to go to sleep, but he told us to rewrite our timed writing, so i stayed up and did that, even though it irked me to no end. then when we get to class on tues, he just goes "who rewrote their paper?" so the few of us who did raised our hands, and he went "well those ppl are the ones who will be managers one day" and that was it. no points for doing it, no collecting them and/or possibly grading them. no, i totally wasted my time and stayed sick longer for that stupid man. i hate school, and i am so effing ready for it to be over. at least theres a four day weekend coming up. thank god.

i don't know whats wrong w/ me, but theres something. i think i just need to sleep, but that won't happen. i hate my life. blah